She’s the DJ, I’m the MC
Wherein I make up catchy nicknames and talk about relationships
There’s a recurring topic in the Financial blogosphere that I thankfully can not relate to: The question of how to get a partner on board, dealing with a spendy spouse, or the idea that one person in a relationship must instigate financial changes. This might be sampling bias*, but a lot of the discourse also seems to come down on gendered lines and leave one wondering if the “Target crazed woman” is more truth than fiction somewhere out there.
All of this has something to do with our noms de plume; they aren’t just an 80’s rap reference. Perhaps we’re lucky, but we’ve always been synced in our spending habits and financial goals. In fact, instead of having to have a talk with her to align our goals, it’s been more like she has always been laying down the sick background beats and I’ve been rapping along to the rhythm and trying to keep up with the changes in tempo (like all analogies, this can only go so far).
The DJ, as we’ll call her, has wanted to retire extremely early from before either one of us knew the feasibility or mechanics. For me, getting the most value for the things you spend money on always seemed to make sense, perhaps it was too much time in genteel poverty, but I didn’t have a specific end purpose in mind. Somewhere along the way, we realized that if we kept doing what we were doing and upping the tempo a bit, things could get really awesome. That’s how we got where we are now, and how we will hopefully reach our goals.
I wonder if the both partners always on board dynamic isn’t more common than you hear, but just not written about as much because conflict and overcoming adversity makes for a better story. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Or was I the partner needing to be changed and it happened without me realizing? A good DJ can switch tracks so smoothly that you can get caught up in the flow and not realize you are emceeing a whole different tune…
*Update: Shortly after I wrote this, my editor (i.e., my wife, The DJ) pointed out this rather great post: Behind the Scenes of a Happy Frugal Marriage, which I had totally ignored, probably due to above said sampling bias.